Everybody's A Winner
My daughter is only six, and she understands.
Her school had a pumpkin carving/decorating contest. The challenge was to transform a pumpkin into your favorite literary character. Awesome prizes were promised.
She chose the character of Junie B. Jones, complete with glasses and missing teeth (as Junie appeared in the "Toothless Wonder" book).
Tonight, at a school function, the pumpkins were on display after being judged. My daughter ran to the table, excited to see if she had won a prize.
A sign said, "You all did great, but we couldn't pick a favorite. So everybody's a winner!"
She read the sign, then turned to me and said, "If everybody's a winner, then nobody wins."
See, she understands. By rewarding everyone with a prize, there's little motivation for the kids to excel at anything. It can be very disheartening to know that your best effort will be judged the same as someone else's poorest effort.
I've taught my kids that they can't expect to win every game and contest. All they can do is try their best, then work hard to do better. Every now and then they might just taste a well-earned victory.
I haven't really explained the concept of "pure luck" to them yet. They can figure out that one for themselves.
Her school had a pumpkin carving/decorating contest. The challenge was to transform a pumpkin into your favorite literary character. Awesome prizes were promised.
She chose the character of Junie B. Jones, complete with glasses and missing teeth (as Junie appeared in the "Toothless Wonder" book).
Tonight, at a school function, the pumpkins were on display after being judged. My daughter ran to the table, excited to see if she had won a prize.
A sign said, "You all did great, but we couldn't pick a favorite. So everybody's a winner!"
She read the sign, then turned to me and said, "If everybody's a winner, then nobody wins."
See, she understands. By rewarding everyone with a prize, there's little motivation for the kids to excel at anything. It can be very disheartening to know that your best effort will be judged the same as someone else's poorest effort.
I've taught my kids that they can't expect to win every game and contest. All they can do is try their best, then work hard to do better. Every now and then they might just taste a well-earned victory.
I haven't really explained the concept of "pure luck" to them yet. They can figure out that one for themselves.
Permalink posted by Phil at 11:42 PM
9 Comments:
It's such a weird dichotomy. On the one hand, Capitalism is about winning at all costs. In school, kids are often taught they're all winners no matter what.
I think it's a good idea to build everyone's self-esteem, but not in a meaningless way. Children -- and adults -- should only be rewarded for earning the compliment or award
So where's our picture of the pumpkin! I wanna see!
My lads learn in turn this lesson, they would spend hours and hours doing easter hats for the school-pre-school hat competition.... to be faced on the day by hats that were quite obviously made my parents whilst their kids watched the telly.... and again THERE CAN BE NO WINNERS the judge annouces.... WELL YES THERE BLOODY CAN BE.... how are kids surposed to learn about trying their damdest to give their best.... only to be judged the same as an adult or a real crappy hat.... or pumpkin or whatever it might be at the time..... with life also comes disappointments and not winning a competition is all part of it.... AND...... my lads hats were ALWAYS the best LMFAO.... cos they made them themselves....
x
I agree- picture please.
Things like that drive me nuts too. I'd rather my daughter get a lesson in losing than rewarding mediocrity.
Messages like this deprive our kids of a golden opportunity, not only to taste the rewards of hard work and skill, but to learn to cope with disappointment and failure as well, concepts that each of us must face at some point.
I agree--let's see the picture!
I hope your daughter's comment was overheard by the pumpkin judging committee :0) ...
Everybody has the potential to be a winner but in the real world only ONE can win. My girls have different approaches to winning. The child that wins most often is more casual about it and the child who works harder at winning, cries when dissapointed but does not give up. What this means as they become adults is something I will wait to see. My goal is to have them at least try and put out effort in the process. For this they diserve the right to find out if it is good enough.
Picture?
Soon we will all be tepid milquetoast.
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