This Perfect World
A friend who reads my blog recently told me, "You have this perfect little family and perfect little life."
Sure, based on my blog posts, one could think that. I tend not to whine and complain too much, preferring instead to focus on the positive aspects of family and kids. But I don't want to come off sounding like a Christmas newsletter... "Little Johnny is the best speller in his class, and little Jane took first place at cheerleader camp, and the cat learned how to pee in the toilet..."
In real life, I try to "accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative" (as the song goes) as much as possible, although I'm not as consistent as I'd like to be. We live in a cynical, pessimistic world, and it's far too easy to fall into that mindset when everyone around you is playing that game.
However, I make a point each and every day to count my blessings. I constantly remind my kids to appreciate the good things in life. When you do that on a regular basis then it's much easier to deal with adversity and bad luck.
I don't ignore the negatives, I simply don't want to dwell upon them to a point where they define my life. So when I sit down to think up a blog post, I draw inspiration from the wonderful blessings that I've been counting that day.
If readers think I have a "perfect little family and perfect little life" based on what I write here, then I must be doing a good job of passing along the love and good fortune that I find all around me. It really is everywhere... you just have to start looking.
Sure, based on my blog posts, one could think that. I tend not to whine and complain too much, preferring instead to focus on the positive aspects of family and kids. But I don't want to come off sounding like a Christmas newsletter... "Little Johnny is the best speller in his class, and little Jane took first place at cheerleader camp, and the cat learned how to pee in the toilet..."
In real life, I try to "accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative" (as the song goes) as much as possible, although I'm not as consistent as I'd like to be. We live in a cynical, pessimistic world, and it's far too easy to fall into that mindset when everyone around you is playing that game.
However, I make a point each and every day to count my blessings. I constantly remind my kids to appreciate the good things in life. When you do that on a regular basis then it's much easier to deal with adversity and bad luck.
I don't ignore the negatives, I simply don't want to dwell upon them to a point where they define my life. So when I sit down to think up a blog post, I draw inspiration from the wonderful blessings that I've been counting that day.
If readers think I have a "perfect little family and perfect little life" based on what I write here, then I must be doing a good job of passing along the love and good fortune that I find all around me. It really is everywhere... you just have to start looking.
Permalink posted by Phil at 9:25 AM
14 Comments:
You do a great job of it. I tend to focus on some of the bad things too much.
Sometimes I think my blog is too honest. Sharing the outrages bad and good. Like my life.
I don't find anything wrong with concentrating on the good though. There has to be ENOUGH good in ones life anyway for people to see your family as a happy family..so you do a great job
I agree Phil, I also try to focus on good stuff and not dwell on negative things to long. My kids every now and then do want to see my blog and I certainly don't want them to think I complain about them, I am very proud of them and it's good for them to see it and hear it at home. We try to forgive and forget if bad things happened, no need dwelling on it.
Oh I love this post!! And I love your blog.. it's awesome! I count my blessings every day too... :)
- Audrey
Pinks & BLues Girls
Phil, I think this has finally defined for me why I've always loved your blog so much, because you are so positive about things. I have noticed posts about things that are frustrating or difficult, but there's never any sense of despair, just optimism and love.
Very best,
Eric
Well put, Phil. Someone once commented on my blog that I make everything seem so easy. I don't highlight my struggles and lows because frankly we all have enough drama in our lives. If you're a parent, you usually want to laugh and cry just about every day. It just depends on the hour...
I agree -- if we look around us more often, we'll see the positive things and dwell on them. Better to be grateful for what we have than lament over what we don't have. =)
I like your blog, too. I'll give the link to my good friend who's asking for sites/blogs that include the topic of homeschooling, as she's seriously considering homeschooling her 2 kids.
I want to hand my kids a bound print out of my blog one day. The last thing i want them to read about is complaints about them.
Keep it up Phil
I'm still trying to learn how to pee in the toilet ...
A cat peeing in the toilet is a good thing? Hmm...
You can write about whatever you want. Most people ought to know that it's whatever you care to disclose, not everything that happens in your day.
I tend to work the same way. I hate the negative because it never really does any good. Never makes anyone smile or any of that.
Besides, I want LA Toddler to get older and realize how wonderful things were... before she could remember anything! Considering I didn't have my first memory until after I was three, I think I timed it just right!
"Look how great it was back when you were a toddler!"
"I don't want to read yer stupid blog, dad!"
I used to pour out my sad feelings and be emotional in my blog, but hubby said..why you want to do that..are you trying to get sympathy or what? When I read other blogs I find most people will do like you did, accentuate the happy and positive things..which is actually therapeutic and able to inspire other people too. So, I stop being such a cry-baby on the blog..sometimes I do bring out some problems but not begging for sympathy anymore..and be more positive about life.
I hate the "Christmas Newsletter," but I'm like you, I don't like to go on about the negative stuff that happens at home. I don't like to go on about how many times I had to tell my oldest son to "GO BACK TO BED AND STOP COMING IN HERE WITH LAME EXCUSES ABOUT WHY YOU'RE UP AGAIN!" That would be pointless...because really, as much as the kids exasperate me, test me, push me to the limit, make me angry, etc.. they're still my kids, and I love them very much and always will. Nothing will ever change that.
i feel the same way and i think its wonderful that you articulated it so well!
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