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Thursday, November 16, 2006


Open Your Eyes

I had an epiphany about my son a few weeks ago. He was being extremely stubborn about something which involved a group activity in the community. The details are not important. But in the moment I became quite frustrated with him and actually said out loud to myself, "Why can't my son be like all the other boys?!"

The answer came to me instantly: "Because he's not like the other boys!" And in that moment I realized how wrong it is to compare my children to others. My son and daughter are totally unique. There's nobody else like them (now I sound like Mr. Rogers). It just took me awhile to understand that their personalities are their own, and sometimes I just have to let them be who they are.

Of course, that doesn't mean they can break rules and be impolite. But I'm talking about the way they play and create and learn and grow. Every kid has their own special way. Sometimes it's up to the parents to open their eyes and see it.

Today I found this beautiful video from Japan that kind of illustrates my point. Click here or click on the picture:


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Phil, that was awesome (both the post and the video)! Thank you for sharing that.

I read a book recently that said that kids enter school as question marks and leave as periods. What a shame that is. They have plenty of unique and vibrant imagination and personality... we just need to let them.

5:36 AM  
Anonymous Pete said...

Great topic and post. Loved the video. I have found myself feeling the same way on many occasions. Essentially, a "why wont she just..." moment. And like you I have to remind myself that she is who she is, not who I want her to be...and in my case she is only 15 months old.

12:51 PM  
Blogger Phil said...

Pete, wait until she's 8 and wants to do everything her own unique way.

I want my son to fit in with the crowd, but not to the point where he loses himself in it.

Don't know why it took me so long to figure this out. Homeschooling has something to do with it... I see so much more of my son now.

2:06 PM  
Anonymous Steve Remington said...

Wow, awesome video!! Yea I think there are fears of the unknown when it comes to our kids. We want them to fit in but at the same time we want them to be unique. Where we draw the line is important to us parents. Good post!

9:11 AM  
Blogger a bra that fits & a can opener that works said...

thank you for the video link!(I found other Japanese links from the one you posted) we used to live in Japan, and I miss their quirky humor,and what we view as strange game shows ect
love your blog too

9:27 AM  
Blogger boyhowdy said...

Gosh, that video almost made me cry.

From one daddyblogger to another (and a music fan -- I come via (sm)all ages) -- hoorah for raising individuals. My girls are a bit startling sometimes, but even when the elderchild reorganizes the dance line so she's always in front, it's good to remember that our job is to help them become the best themselves they can be, whomeever that might turn out to be.

5:24 PM  
Anonymous Littlebluehouse said...

Great Post and Video. I did cry!

10:03 AM  

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