The Player
My son has little natural athletic ability. Watching him play basketball in a 2nd grade league is slightly painful. And it brings back memories of my own youthful ineptness. I couldn't dribble, throw, hit, run, or do much of anything else as a kid, making me the last one picked for every team with good reason at recess and gym class. I want something different for my son, for him to be as confident in his physical abilities as he is in his reading and math skills.
But try as we might, he's still having a hard time with coordination of arms and legs. After two seasons of soccer, one of gymnastics, and one of basketball, I'm still waiting for him to show some signs of comfort in his athleticism. I told him that it's important to have the basic skills: throwing, catching, aiming, bouncing, running, jumping. Once you get those down everything else should develop more easily.
He's starting to recognize that there are some things the other kids do better. His first response is to want to quit, but I tell him that's not an option. I won't give up on him and I won't let him give up on himself. It's actually one of the hardest things I have to do as a dad, to be positive and supportive in the face of a real uphill climb.
I was a late bloomer... I learned most of my athletic skills as a grown-up. My son obviously inherited something from me that he now has to overcome. I'm not going to let him bloom as late as I did.
Permalink posted by Phil at 12:03 AM
10 Comments:
I know it's a lot harder for boys, but as a girl I went through some of this, as well. I could play some sports pretty well, but because I was tall people expected me to be good at basketball. But I was very uncomfortable with my height and I was terrible at it, besides. I remember playing it in gym class in fifth or sixth grade and the teacher shouting, "Kristen's open! Why won't anyone throw the ball to her?!" I felt like shouting, "Because I SUCK at this sport! Would you shut up, already??" I knew the teacher was trying to help me out but it just made me feel worse. I came into my own later in school and really excelled at tennis and volleyball. The height proved to be useful, afterall. Just hang in there with him. It would have been great if one of my parents could have helped me out with those things I wasn't so great at, but I don't think they really knew how much it bothered me. Keep working with him...he'll get there and find the thing that he really enjoys doing.
Thanks Kristen, we do want him to try all sorts of different sports so that he finds the thing he likes. I want him to be active at something through the years. He does love to hike and swim, which are things we can all do together (at least when this cold wet winter ends).
Virtually all humans excel somewhere athletically. For me, it wasn't basketball, baseball or football. I lacked speed and size.
By high school, though, I discovered I was a much better than average long-distance runner. I still run to this day.(I was also good at cycling.)
I think the key is to find the athletic event that fits your child's inherited abilities and run with them. So to speak.
Bretdl, my brother went through the same thing. He tried several sports and wasn't good at any and then in middle school he joined the track team and excelled in running. some kids just aren't coordinated but boy are they fast. =)
Unfortunetly if Phil wants his son to try out track, I don't think track is available until middle school.
I agree with everything said about running. I played softball and basketball from the time I was 6 years old until I was 13, and boy was I terrible. For me, though, the difference was I enjoyed it, so I worked at it.
Until I realized that the return I was getting for the amount of effort I put into it wasn't worth it, and then I started running cross-country. THAT was a lot of fun, and I notice that all those kids who played team sports don't do too much of that anymore, while I still run.
Ultimate frisbee is awesome, too, with The Spirit of the Game written into the rules. I love it. Everyone plays fair (mostly), and it's all about running around like a maniac, and jumping and dodging and all that good stuff. Love it, love it, love it.
oooh. ooh. I love Frisbee too.
I figure skated for 7 years and was never that good at it. But I'm very glad my parents encouraged me to continue because it was a great experience.
What if he doesn't want to play sports? What if he turns out to be a really good band marcher? Or maybe a dancer (that's a sport)? Have you tried Karate or something similar? That's worked for other parents I know whose sons weren't cut out for the "average" sports. Maybe piano lessons? Not all of us are born to be athletes or ever bloom into one at all. Encourage him to try different things and if he enjoys basketball, even though he may suck at it, then let him play to his hearts desire without criticizing his performance. If he doesn't like it, then let him quit and find another activity he enjoys. What's important is enjoying what you do - not how you do it or how many medals you win (unless of course, that's important to the individual) - it shouldn't be your call to find what makes him happy.
Very true, Mama of 3, but it is my call to direct him toward different activities. It's also up to me to decide how long he should stick with something before giving up, because if it was up to him he'd quit everything at the first stumble.
I just want him to know how to do a lot of different things. I don't want him growing up not able to throw, catch, run, listen, work with a team, etc. Having a wide range of knowledge and skills will only increase a kid's confidence in himself and his abilities.
Careful there Phil. You can't possibly control the blooming other than deciding when to "plant" the seed and putting a little water on it -- and you've done that already. If you never signed the kid up for anything, that would be the tragedy, not that he can't (yet) do well at certain sports.
I agree with you in not allowing a fast, pouty "I quit" in the face of a little adversity.
I personally believe a kid needs to learn _how_ various sports are played and _how_ to fit into a team (meaning, don't be a ballhog, don't be afraid to play your part in the team, don't demean other teammates).
I see my primary job as doing a lot of planting and seeing seeing what takes. My kids will do well at some things (and like them) and will not do so well at others (but won't be allowed to quit before giving a good effort and gaining some knowledge).
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