We Can Be Heroes
Growing up I didn't have many positive male role models. Come to think of it, I didn't have any positive male role models. Not a one.
My dad left us, my brother died, there were no grandfathers, uncles or cousins around... No teacher took me under his wing, our pastor was a womanizer who eventually divorced and left the church... It goes on and on. I was surrounded by neutral or negative men during my formative years.
So who were my role models through the early to teen years? Cuz every boy has to have some, right? Mine were men I didn't even know. John, Paul, George and Ringo... David Letterman... The dad on "Land of the Lost"... Mister Rogers... Walter Cronkite... George Lucas... John Denver... Andy Griffith... Pa Walton... I took a little bit from each of these people (or characters, in some cases) to figure out who and what I was supposed to be. Sad, I know.
The biggest influence on me as a father today came from the character I consider to be the best TV dad ever, Charles Ingalls.
There he is... Wasn't he great? I mean, was he the perfect dad or what? Do men like that exist in real life? I hope they do. At least I'm going to strive for that kind of perfection with my own family. I can't quite get the quivering lip thing down like Michael Landon did, but my kids know I'm not afraid to be honest and emotional. They know that I'm always there, always reliable, solid as a rock. They can talk to me about anything and I will always listen and communicate.
I am the role model to my kids. They'll never have to wonder why there were no positive male influences in their lives. I know I won't be the only one, but I want to be the best one. I want to be my kids' hero. Nothing else matters... It's the foremost thought in my mind as I teach and guide my children through to adulthood. They are always watching me, learning from my actions, listening to my words. It's a monumental responsibility, one which some men shirk from too easily. But it's worth doing, and the payoff is immense.
So, who were your heroes growing up?
My dad left us, my brother died, there were no grandfathers, uncles or cousins around... No teacher took me under his wing, our pastor was a womanizer who eventually divorced and left the church... It goes on and on. I was surrounded by neutral or negative men during my formative years.
So who were my role models through the early to teen years? Cuz every boy has to have some, right? Mine were men I didn't even know. John, Paul, George and Ringo... David Letterman... The dad on "Land of the Lost"... Mister Rogers... Walter Cronkite... George Lucas... John Denver... Andy Griffith... Pa Walton... I took a little bit from each of these people (or characters, in some cases) to figure out who and what I was supposed to be. Sad, I know.
The biggest influence on me as a father today came from the character I consider to be the best TV dad ever, Charles Ingalls.
There he is... Wasn't he great? I mean, was he the perfect dad or what? Do men like that exist in real life? I hope they do. At least I'm going to strive for that kind of perfection with my own family. I can't quite get the quivering lip thing down like Michael Landon did, but my kids know I'm not afraid to be honest and emotional. They know that I'm always there, always reliable, solid as a rock. They can talk to me about anything and I will always listen and communicate.
I am the role model to my kids. They'll never have to wonder why there were no positive male influences in their lives. I know I won't be the only one, but I want to be the best one. I want to be my kids' hero. Nothing else matters... It's the foremost thought in my mind as I teach and guide my children through to adulthood. They are always watching me, learning from my actions, listening to my words. It's a monumental responsibility, one which some men shirk from too easily. But it's worth doing, and the payoff is immense.
So, who were your heroes growing up?
Permalink posted by Phil at 10:35 AM
4 Comments:
Hm...you bring up a good point. I didn't have any good female role models growing up. There were many alcoholic and emotionally damaged women, but no strong Christian women to look up to. I think the first time I met a family that seemed healthy was when I was a senior in high school. They were parents of a friend of mine. I was amazed by them, just that a family could be healthy and functioning was new to me.
You've inspired me to write more about this on my own...so check it out if you want!
My dad died when I was 9, but my grandfathers were alive until I was an adult. For some reason though, I never adopted any "special" male role models. I don't know why that is. But when I started my blog, that was one of the foremost things on my mind: I wanted to be a role model for my children.
My biodad was a drunk and a wife beater - mom left him before I was even a year old. My grandfather and Uncle stepped in to take up "the slack" when a father figure was needed. Ive seen many kids messed up late rin life, who were in similar situations as mine - but I found a great balance. I learned the type of dad I wanted to be freom my grandad and uncle - and learned what kind of dad I was NOT going to be from the examples of my biofather.
Shannon
I don't think I had any "heroes" but I had people I respected. And I agree with you and brett, I want to be the role models for my kids.
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