Snooping
A newspaper columnist from Detroit writes about children's privacy and parents' duty to know what their kids are thinking and doing. As one mother put it, though, if parents have open and honest communication with their kids from an early age, there probably won't be a need to snoop.
Permalink posted by Phil at 12:58 AM
2 Comments:
This comment from the article is right on target (the quote you refer to I think): "If parents were, in fact, being good parents," she wrote, "they really wouldn't have to snoop. When a parent snoops, are they doubting their child, or are they doubting their own parenting?"
Snooping accomplishes one thing: it destroys trust. That will guarantee that your kid won't talk openly with you about anything. But of course by the time kids are teenagers, the patterns of parent-child interactions have already been set, apparently many have been set to mistrust and suspicion...
I agree with both the post and Chip's comment about snooping.
But even as an adult, I have people who hold me accountable. For instance, I work for a non profit and am personally responsible for a bank account that is used to help people in need. The checks I write are to be completely anonymous. Still, the account is audited, and I'm grateful for that. It is so easy to compromise, and knowing checks and balances are built in helps remove any temptation to impopriety.
I think this is analogous to raising our kids--to checking their internet activity on a regular basis, for instance. To my mind the key is being completely open and honest about it up front, so that it isn't so much a matter of trust, but accountability and the elimination of ever present temptations.
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